Cloud Cover ~ Overcoming Depression and Suicide
It was an early autumn morning. A vicious chill bit my knuckles
through my gloves as I drove my trusty Toyota to our hiking troupe’s meeting
place. We gathered together in the
parking lot, jostling poles and back-packs as we huddled together for
warmth. We all took turns peering up at
the ominous black bellies of the low-hanging clouds.
“Should we still go?” my friend asked. “Looks like nasty weather.”
Our troupe leader has been hiking these mountains for five decades. She knows their faces, their moods. She surveyed the sky with a knowing eye and
said, “We’ll head up. Ten bucks says
these clouds melt away at 7,000 feet."
So we piled into the four-wheelers and drove up into the
misty mountains. The gray shroud left
teary streaks on our windows. I watched
them crawl along in trembling, horizontal lines down the glass. All at once, about 6,800 feet above sea
level, the welcoming arms of golden sunbeams reached down from the heavens.
By the time we reached the trailhead, there was not a cloud
in the sky above us. As we unloaded our
gear and started our ascent, I could not help but feel a thrill of joy that we
had driven up, despite the inclement weather below.
Psalm 126 is one of my favorite songs of ascent. It describes the time when God will restore our fortunes. The song begins by showing the joy of a restored human heart: "we were like those who dream. Our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy." The song ends with this powerful promise: "Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."
When it is cold and rainy outside, I often don't feel like doing much. But I find, if I just keep going, I get out of my funk. While matters of the spirit are never so simple, I still think a connection can be drawn. We have all gone through deep valleys of lamentation. When the dark clouds of sorrow descend upon us, we often feel debilitated. Sometimes the depression feels all-consuming. But we serve a God who is bigger, the Father of Lights, in whom there is no shadow! If we keep living, day by day, we will see the Sun again. Our God is the kind voice that leads us up the mountain; the gentle whisper saying "You can do it! I am with you!"
As I travel around and meet many university students, I continue to hear stories about suicide. Some students have told me that they only refrain from killing themselves because of what it would do to their friends or family. Psalm 30v11 says, "You have turned my mourning into dancing. You have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness." I find the term 'loosed' interesting. Our sadness can feel constricting. At times we have been sad for so long that we think the sadness has become us. But God can peel that sorrow off and give us a clean start, just like a pair of fresh, new clothes.
I know what it is like to have someone very close nearly lost to suicide. It is never easy to pick up the pieces from an event like that. If you have lost someone to suicide, I want to say how sorry I am. That is a lonely, confusing, dark moment.
If you are contemplating suicide, please remember how very precious and loved you are. You are God's beloved child, and He put you on this earth for a reason. All may feel lost now, but He is not done yet! It is hard to have faith, but others can have faith for you. Reach out to someone else if you need help. You have nothing to lose by calling the suicide hotline:
1-800-273-8255
My beloved friends, let us not give up in the darkest moments. Let us still sow seeds on the days when we are crying, when all seems hopeless; and let us have faith that someday soon we will return from that same field with our arms full of a bountiful harvest!
When it is cold and rainy outside, I often don't feel like doing much. But I find, if I just keep going, I get out of my funk. While matters of the spirit are never so simple, I still think a connection can be drawn. We have all gone through deep valleys of lamentation. When the dark clouds of sorrow descend upon us, we often feel debilitated. Sometimes the depression feels all-consuming. But we serve a God who is bigger, the Father of Lights, in whom there is no shadow! If we keep living, day by day, we will see the Sun again. Our God is the kind voice that leads us up the mountain; the gentle whisper saying "You can do it! I am with you!"
As I travel around and meet many university students, I continue to hear stories about suicide. Some students have told me that they only refrain from killing themselves because of what it would do to their friends or family. Psalm 30v11 says, "You have turned my mourning into dancing. You have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness." I find the term 'loosed' interesting. Our sadness can feel constricting. At times we have been sad for so long that we think the sadness has become us. But God can peel that sorrow off and give us a clean start, just like a pair of fresh, new clothes.
I know what it is like to have someone very close nearly lost to suicide. It is never easy to pick up the pieces from an event like that. If you have lost someone to suicide, I want to say how sorry I am. That is a lonely, confusing, dark moment.
If you are contemplating suicide, please remember how very precious and loved you are. You are God's beloved child, and He put you on this earth for a reason. All may feel lost now, but He is not done yet! It is hard to have faith, but others can have faith for you. Reach out to someone else if you need help. You have nothing to lose by calling the suicide hotline:
1-800-273-8255
My beloved friends, let us not give up in the darkest moments. Let us still sow seeds on the days when we are crying, when all seems hopeless; and let us have faith that someday soon we will return from that same field with our arms full of a bountiful harvest!
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